I watched The Brave One with Jodi Foster this week, the jist of the movie is she get hurt badly and then she goes vigilante and kills like 5 random bad people. there is a sense of this movie that is very gratifying, in fact i felt very pleased and satisfied with her sense of justice, that is taking the law into her own hands. however, there is something else in me, something i allow myself to follow, a guide or standard by which i am able to measure actions and feelings, something most important in times when something feels or seems so right that unless you have a prior standard..., no not prior, but greater, something greater than myself with which to measure, or be measured by, instead of having only my own feelings to guide me in what i believe. i guess what i'm saying is that while i felt good about the way her character behaved, i believe it was wrong, which is counter to my feelings.

i wonder if a lot of us are going to be answering to our kids in 10-15 about what we blogged today, both for good and not. i'm sure technology will allow them to access websites and blogs not in existence, and the google in 15 yrs will be able to search things that once were, and by today standards, are no longer, ie your old myspace page where you ranted about everything (and then erased). and they will reflect on who you were (and maybe are) in light of the history that was written since then, and the conversations you have had with them about how they should behave, and how that is inconsistent with your written past. you should be fun. but i wonder if that might deepen the relationships, cause of the forced honesty, or estrange them, because they are our children. i know parents who keep plenty of their past hidden from their children, to protect them? what if your kids could go back in time and watch you grow up, or not grow up?

"There are three species of mendacity, each worse than the one before - lies, damned lies, and statistics." - stephen jay gould quoting markin twain

I eat at Taco Cabana 3-4 times a week, i always order two egg and chorizo soft taco's and ask for salsa and pico de gallo on the side (those condiments are free). anyway, one day i bought a new wallet and it hadn't streched enough to get all my old junk from my old wallet into the new one, so one of the things i left out was this 20% of card, that i'm able to use every time i go to taco cabana. and of course the day i go there with out it, there is a new window teller, i order my food, i tell them that i have a 20% off gift card like i always do, and when i get to the window to pay i realize i don't have it with me, i explain my dilema, she says nothing, gives me a dirty look, and then adjust the price back to the regular price. no biggee. the next day when i went to taco cabana, i made sure i had my card with me, i ordered and said i had a gift card to the microphone, and the teller says back to me in the most condescending way, "DO YOU HAVE IT WITH YOU???" i said yes, and you could hear my eyes rolling in my voice, i got my discount and now she doesn't ask anymore, in fact she refuses to even look at it, when i present it. Now she has decided to not give me pico de gallo, its her new way of getting back at me, the other day i did my usuall order thing, and when she handed me the bag, i didn't even check to see if it was in there, cause it always is. well when i got to the office it wasn't, so today when i ordered i checked, and again it wasn't in there, so i politely knocked on the glass, and immediately she produced a container of pico, she is amazing.

i'm going to radonmly put out grievances with people who disagree with me on different issues, presbo's and baptists might enter the mix more than others, cause i have more experience disagreeing with them.
Perseverance of the Saints (P in the TULIP)

states that, if your a christian and you try really hard to be a good christian and you succeed, your a christian, but not with much certainty. Consequently, if your a christian and you try really hard to be a good christian, and you fail, your not a christian(and you never were), but with all the certainty the denomination can muster to convince you of this, and consequently treat you in the same way??? which is whole nother ting.

For Dave:
i blog about gross things, cause i'm gross... yesterday i was in the car driving, and when i stopped at the red light, i noticed that the guy next to me was digging deep inside of his nose, so i starred. and continued to starre? anyway, he caught me catching him, and then it was his turn to stair, but he gave me a dirty look while doing it, so i smiled, and turned away. but then i looked back at him and he was still sterring at me, he looked like he wanted to kill me, i felt like being generous and picking my nose to so he would know that its ok to pick your nose in public, but i didn't.

if i were solomon i would have said two things i love, a new haircut, and clothes worn yesterday that need not be washed for today. and two things i hate lousy drivers and overpriced beverages, but i'm not so instead i'm gonna talk about my childhood. It was strange, its like i was a total schizo, I mean i got in trouble a whole lot no matter who i was around, so that was a constant, but the degree of what i was willing to do was different. like i did and said stupid stuff while around my parents or while playing in the neighborhood, but always knowing that they weren't far away. but like at camps i would go to in the summer or stuff like that, where they were completely out of sight and out of mind, my level of stupidity was heightened to like code level orange or something, i just remember my time away from my parents at camp like a total blur of running and screaming, and thats pretty much it, no sitting still or acting calm. I remember one year i got into a fight with a kid at camp or something, which was stupid because he was about twice my size, so i charged him and while i was getting punched i just wrapped him up and bit, which was like his belly button (meaning thats how far i came up on him). i think another year i camp i put a fishing hook through a kids nose, they day we were leaving from camp, i mean everybody was already on the bus. that is actually pretty boring, but the point i'm trying to make is that getting in trouble with "other" people just pailed so much in comparison to getting in trouble with my dad it was like having a liscence to do whatever i want, cause he wasn't there to punish me. don't think that i was afraid of my dad, there is a difference between afraid and respect, on that level (not saying that that is what respect looks like across the board). i love(d) my dad and new he loved me, its just that pretty much everyone else getting upset or punishing me was a joke in contrast, here's the thing though, i didn't process this conscously, i think it just happened, but it is probably an explanation for my completely insane behavior while out of my fathers arm's reach. is that wierd?

ps i work for my mom as of 1-08 (cause i broke my clavicle), and she has been trying to get me to put the lid down on the toilet after i tinkle, and for the most part i do, it just seemed like the 3 times i forgot she was the next one to use it. she even called me at home once to tell me to put the lid down, i'm surprised she didn't leave a note for me in the bathroom (she likes to leave notes). anywho, there is another dude now working at the office, and i notice that he now leaves the lid up, so now that she has me trained, its ... did i mention everyone in the office is a woman, except dude.

I saw juno tonight with jon, amy, and my parents, it was great of course, but i stiffled my laughter when juno referred to pork swords, cause i was sitting next to my mom!

This morning i woke up and sat on the edge of my bed racking my brain trying to think of where i could go to study. you would think that the phrase "coffee shop" would be the first thing to pop into my head, but alas i am only surrounded by barnes and nobles and starbucks, neither of which offer free wireless, which is at the very least on a level with waterboarding (not the aquatic sport). so i remember that there are actually two decent "local" coffee shops in denton on the square, so i go downstairs only to discover that i didn't really tivo lost, like i thought, so i just flipped through our 4-500 channels that are available for about an hour. anyway, when i got to the jupiter house(coffee shop) i order a small coffee and a bagel, which cost 4.25, plus a .75 cent tip with the hope that that would motivate him to actually give me the food i paid for, and it worked. as i paid i asked if there were free refills, i assumed there was since i paid so much, i was wrong, they're a doller! oh. i got my bagel which turned out to be some sort of mini-bagel, later when i went to get my one dollar refill, i asked about a cup of coffee someone was holding that said bottomless cup, he said that that cup of coffee cost 4.50, he must of read my mind or my body language (i did start kicking things), because he followed up with, "coffee's expensive!" then i remembered that i have some knowledge of the coffee world, and that at greyfriars it only cost us about 5.5cents to make a cup of coffee, so i figure it might cost them 10.

Last night a kinda funny thing happened, i guess, i was walking out of wal-mart with newcastle(beer) and the girl scouts asked me if i wanted some cookies, and i did, cause i love thin mints and somoas (they only had thin mints). So i set my six pack on the table and paid for my cookies, and i thought, is this wierd?