if i were solomon i would have said two things i love, a new haircut, and clothes worn yesterday that need not be washed for today. and two things i hate lousy drivers and overpriced beverages, but i'm not so instead i'm gonna talk about my childhood. It was strange, its like i was a total schizo, I mean i got in trouble a whole lot no matter who i was around, so that was a constant, but the degree of what i was willing to do was different. like i did and said stupid stuff while around my parents or while playing in the neighborhood, but always knowing that they weren't far away. but like at camps i would go to in the summer or stuff like that, where they were completely out of sight and out of mind, my level of stupidity was heightened to like code level orange or something, i just remember my time away from my parents at camp like a total blur of running and screaming, and thats pretty much it, no sitting still or acting calm. I remember one year i got into a fight with a kid at camp or something, which was stupid because he was about twice my size, so i charged him and while i was getting punched i just wrapped him up and bit, which was like his belly button (meaning thats how far i came up on him). i think another year i camp i put a fishing hook through a kids nose, they day we were leaving from camp, i mean everybody was already on the bus. that is actually pretty boring, but the point i'm trying to make is that getting in trouble with "other" people just pailed so much in comparison to getting in trouble with my dad it was like having a liscence to do whatever i want, cause he wasn't there to punish me. don't think that i was afraid of my dad, there is a difference between afraid and respect, on that level (not saying that that is what respect looks like across the board). i love(d) my dad and new he loved me, its just that pretty much everyone else getting upset or punishing me was a joke in contrast, here's the thing though, i didn't process this conscously, i think it just happened, but it is probably an explanation for my completely insane behavior while out of my fathers arm's reach. is that wierd?